Gratitude

 Finding peace is sometimes hard.  I reflect on the many great things in my life and can say my life is good.  Yes, there is that toxic intrusion, but I am working on letting that go.

When I look at the good, I can easily count my blessings.  My blessing are mostly in the form of people.

• I have three great daughters.  No one is perfect, not me or them, but  they are great.  They know that I love them and they love me.  They are my biggest supporters in dropping my toxic sibling from my life. 
• I have a wonderful partner in life.  Our relationship is sweet, fun, and healthy.  He is my favorite person to spend time with and I am his.  We are loving and peaceful.  We do not need anyone else.
• I have a relationship with my mother, who I love.  While there is a lot of tension in this relationship, we both want to mend it.  I pray every day that we can.
• I have a sweet sister.
• I have seven (almost 8) of the most amazing kids in this world who call me Oma.  There are no words for how much I love them.
• I have a good job.
• I have a home.
• I am happy.
• I have friends to hang out with.

All in all my life is good.  I do not want for anything really.

Looking at the list of my many blessings, I really focus on the healthy relationships.  I have had a rocky road with one of my daughters, but she has worked to get her life together.  All I want is for them all to be happy.  Truly happy.

I need to keep reminding myself of what I have and not on what I lost.  When I think about it, what did I lose?  Negativity, feeling small, random angry outbursts?  Why does it feel like a loss?  None of those are things I want in my life.  😕