Tuesday, March 8, 2022

The cycle of guilt

 One thing I have to admit about myself is that I am easily guilted into things.  My kids know and use this fact often.  They do not do it with malice.   My TS, however, uses it and DOES do it with malice.  All.  The.  Time.  I am either stupid or have a soft heart.

We had a friendship group with whom we often went camping and boating.  We never had drama.  TS started to come to me literally crying that they wanted to hang out with us.  They did not have friends.  They wanted to do fun stuff.  I had a RZR so they had to get one.  I had an RV so they had to get one.....etc.  I finally felt so bad for TS that I allowed them into our friend group.  I was very nervous, rightfully so!  Within 2 months the drama...constant drama...started.  They would create the drama then act as the hero peacemaker to "fix" it.  Within a year our group fell apart.  In the center of all of it was TS!  They created so much drama and told so many lies that the couple we were closest to are no longer friends.  Suddenly, TS goes in and saves the day for that couple by now being their friend against the enemy (me).  It is what TS wanted all along.

People can hang out and be friends with whomever they want.  If TS were friends with the couple because they were all a better fit, I would not even care.  They used the most painful and hateful methods, said terrible things to me, to get what they wanted and that is what I take exception to.

Why they did that, I do not know.  I know they thrive on drama.

I know there will be a time when TS ill try to guilt me into allowing them back into my life.  I can't.  They will use my mother to guilt me:  it's hurting Mom....don't you care about Mom?....you are such a B##*^ to do this to Mom.  I love my mom but I can't give in.


No comments:

Post a Comment

The journey is not easy

 Cutting all ties with a sibling is hard not matter how toxic they are.  The fact of the matter is there are good memories as well as bad.  ...